I Think I am Financially Better than Anyone Around Me, but Still I am Not Satisfied

People around me always say that I am so lucky because I own a good house at such a young age while others are still working hard to build one or buy a house but drown in debt.

I never cared about what people thought about me. I have my own goal and want this on the right track. I have designed my dream house, and I made it real.

This dream house has a lot of mistakes. Some of my designs have been changed a bit by the builder. Some of my designs are just not right. And every single thing that unfits my wants is not satisfying.

I keep thinking about it all the time and want it fixed. But the mind said that “will it be better even when I renovate it? because nothing is perfect in this world. It’s just how to fit those things for you”. Those kinds of words keep telling me to let it be like that.

I keep working to earn money to fulfill unrealistically and never-ending dreams

I have no pressure on making money. I am supported very well by my husband, to have everyday meals and clothes. These two kinds of things are just more than enough. But why I still want more than basic needs?

After I covered my cost of meals and clothes, then I need this and those. I want a bigger house, a luxurious car, the newest gadget, and more. This want of our life will never end, and it keeps me working.

If I can handle my wants and think deeper about what I need, maybe I won’t need to work again, officially. The word “ENOUGH” is something precious to have, because if not then we will pursue more and more things which we don’t need but just want.

Others life silently influence my principle

I know very well that I have rules in my life to have less and live more. I am working for money as my retirement savings, but on the way I collect it, there are lots of things I don’t need to tempt me to buy them.

For instance, my nephew just bought a car at such a young age. He has been a policeman for a year, and I don’t think he could buy a car yet with a small amount of money every month. Policemen’s salary is not that much in my country. I saw it with jealousy and wanted to scream that, “hey, I have enough to buy a car, but I just don’t want to buy them and don’t need them.”

I asked my family how he bought a car with a policeman’s salary in just a year? The answer quite shocked me. He guaranteed his job to a bank, borrowed money to buy a car, and then paid it monthly to the bank. Then I thought not all people in town who own cars have real wealth. They just got themselves into debt. How poor.

It’s now a trend here in my area to guarantee their job and buy something expensive with their salary cut every month. I then realized to keep calm, silently save my money for retirement as my goal was.

Satisfaction is a never-ending way for anyone

I don’t think my nephew who owns his car is already satisfied with his decision to buy a car. He may feel better that he is better than other people who have no car but now he is in a trap of debt. He can survive his debt, but after this car, I believe he wants something better again than that. But he can’t do it soon because now he is in debt. LOL

Do you have such experience? What you own now is not fulfilling yourself anymore, and you want something better than that?

We are human, and we want it to always be better from time to time. The great shirt we bought yesterday now looks dirtier, and we are not using it properly until we can’t use it anymore. We threw it or maybe not threw it and saved it as clutter, then bought a new one.

How delusional this world was designed by God almighty, but if we are not good at considering things, then we are drawn into it. No one can save you unless yourself.

Two confusing satisfaction based on what we satisfied

There are two satisfactions in questioning myself. First, ‘Does having certain things satisfy me?’ or ‘Does other’s praise satisfy me?’.

Those questions are kind of a trap for me. I actually can say yes for the first question but no for the second question. Then why should I question this matter? It’s because we are often in a trap because of the second question.

The second question traps us in debt. To look great in front of other’s eyes, we often say yes to the second question even if it could bring us to debt, as long as we get a good word from anyone who says that you are so lucky because you own this and that.